Retirement Isn’t the End of the Story
We spend decades preparing financially for retirement, but how much time do we spend preparing for who we’ll be when we get there?
Leaving work can mean far more than giving up a job. We can lose structure, routine, friendships, status, responsibility and a sense of being needed. And underneath all of that sits a much bigger question:
Who am I now?
My conversation with George Jerjian explored retirement as one of life’s major transitions — and why creating a meaningful life afterwards requires more than a healthy bank balance.
When the Old Life Falls Away
George’s own transformation began during a difficult period in 2016 when work, investments and relationships seemed to be falling apart at the same time.
With no clear idea of what came next, he made an unusual decision: he embarked on a 30-day Ignatian silent retreat.
With very little external input and plenty of time for reflection, George began looking back over his life, using the different homes he had lived in as a way of revisiting his experiences.
Painful memories surfaced. There was grief, reflection and eventually a sense of lightness and joy.
Most of us probably aren’t about to disappear on a silent retreat for a month, but there’s something important in George’s experience. Transitions need space.
Sometimes we need time to acknowledge what has ended before we can decide what comes next.
Retirement Is an Identity Change
Retirement is often presented as a finish line.
You work. You save. You retire. And then, presumably, you enjoy yourself.
But human beings don’t necessarily transition that neatly.
When work has occupied a large part of our lives for decades, it can become intertwined with identity. Our profession tells people something about us. It gives shape to our days, creates social connections and provides a sense of contribution.
Take that away and retirement can bring an unexpected loss of identity.
George’s research into retirement found that while health was a major concern for people, when they were asked what they would change if they could, purpose became increasingly important.
That raises an interesting question about the way we prepare for retirement.
Perhaps planning for our financial future is only part of the equation. We also need to think about purpose, relationships, health, identity and how we actually want to spend our time.
Who Are You Without Your Job?
This question feels particularly relevant in midlife.
Long before retirement arrives, many of us are already questioning the roles and identities we’ve accumulated.
Career. Parent. Partner. Provider. Professional.
Some still fit. Others don’t.
And retirement can bring those questions sharply into focus.
George describes retirement as a turning point rather than simply the next stage in a predictable life plan. It offers an opportunity to reconsider what matters, what we enjoy and what we might still want to explore.
Rather than asking only, What am I retiring from?, perhaps the more interesting question is:
What am I retiring to?
The DARE Method
George has developed a framework called DARE to help people navigate this transition:
Discover what retirement is — and what it isn’t.
Assimilate an understanding of how the subconscious mind influences our behaviour.
Rewire the internal dialogue and habits that may be keeping us stuck.
Expand into new roles, experiences and possibilities.
One small but powerful part of this is the move from “I can’t” to “I can’t yet.”
It leaves the door open.
George also suggests paying attention to the activities that create a sense of flow — those moments when we become so absorbed in something that we lose track of time. They can offer clues about interests, strengths and possibilities that may have been pushed aside during the busiest decades of life.
Creating What Comes Next
We also began our conversation with something seemingly simple: sleep.
Sleep is one of the clearest reminders that our bodies and minds need periods of recovery. As we age, the idea that we simply “need less sleep” can sometimes disguise stress, health issues or lifestyles that have lost their natural rhythm.
And perhaps there’s a parallel here with retirement.
After decades of doing, producing and meeting responsibilities, the answer isn’t necessarily to immediately fill the empty space with more activity.
There can be value in stopping. Reflecting. Resting. And allowing some uncertainty before rushing to define the next version of ourselves.
Retirement doesn’t have to mean becoming less relevant, less useful or less engaged with life.
It can be another opportunity to ask some of the questions that run through so many of my conversations on The Midlife Rebel:
Who am I now?
What matters to me?
What am I curious about?
And how do I want to spend the years ahead?
Perhaps the real work of retirement isn’t simply planning how to stop working.
It’s deciding how you want to keep living.
This article was AI generated from the original podcast transcript.
