What If Midlife Is Exactly What You Needed?

Two Lives In One Body

So we are definitely living two lives and one body. And we're saving what they said, what guides love to talk about, is we're saving having to go back and all that time that we spend as a child and having to go through that whole growing up and and all that kind of thing. We can just kind of start from where we are, which is not starting at ground zero, because obviously you you've had a whole lifetime of experience. Um, and then and then taking on that second life. So it looks different for everyone, but there definitely are a lot of commonalities for uh many, many, many, many women.

Welcome to the Midlife Rebel Podcast. It's time to rewrite the midlife story for women who refuse to be put in a box. Because maybe midlife isn't a crisis. Maybe it's an awakening. So um, yeah, I've been looking into the work that you do and um very interested, obviously, with my audience, midlife women, um, and those topics that you specifically talk about, purpose, alignment, and connecting with your authentic self. Because I think that that for well, for me personally, and for other women that I've talked to, um, that is a big thing. Like all of a sudden, we're like, who am I? Beyond labels.

It's not it's interesting because I do have younger clients, but I will say the vast majority of my my women are are basically 45 plus. Uh-huh. Um, you know, all the way up to, you know, I have I've had clients up in in up until their 70s and 80s, but I would say the majority of my clients are between probably 45 and 65-ish in that couple of decades. So yeah, it tends to be the the trend where we're entering into the second chapter.

The Two Books Of Life

I I my guides always describe it as there's basically two chapters, uh, not chapters, two books, the two books of life. And the first book is all the things that we planned before we came into this particular lifetime. And so there's a lot of stuff written in that first book. Okay. Then we hit midlife somewhere. Now it depends, it's different for everybody. Sometimes it's earlier, sometimes it's later. And um, depends how much you depends how much you wanted to get done and how fast you got it done. Um, but that second book, which uh absolutely amazing about that second book, is the pages are all blank, and you get to write. Okay. So it I say to people, people don't realize it because not too long ago, if you made it to, especially as a woman, if you made it to 40, you were an old woman, and that's not that long ago. Okay. So uh this is why we my guides explained it to me that we actually live two lifetimes in the same body. So this is why there's the first book of life and the second book of life. Because let's face it, on average, a woman now lives up until about 85 years old, okay. And a lot of women live way beyond that. Um, but that's kind of the average. So we are definitely living two lives in one body, and we're saving what they said, what guides love to talk about, is we're saving having to go back and all that time that we spend as a child and having to go through that whole growing up and and all that kind of thing. Uh, we can just kind of start from where we are, which is not starting at ground zero because obviously you you've had a whole lifetime of experience, um, and then and then taking on that second life. So it looks different for everyone, but there definitely are a lot of commonalities for uh many, many, many, many women, and men too. I I do have men clients, but I will say that they're a very small part of my practice, and usually they come to me through what I call a significant woman. So it's usually me a mother, a wife, a sister, a girlfriend, uh, sometimes workmate. Okay. So they usually I do have some men that come to me directly, but most of them come through a significant woman.

When Men Hit The Turnover

I I do wonder about that because I've my husband, I'm a couple years older than my husband. He's gonna be 50 this year. But I've kind of recognized that this journey that I'm on, it's very like there's an internal journey. It's it's very inward. And so I wonder, like, because I haven't spoken to him about it. And sometimes I think if I go on about well, do you know I took talk to him about my stuff a bit, but I haven't really talked to him about whether he's got any stuff going on. Um, and it because there is so much of it that goes on internally, but I do wonder whether it shows up in the same way for men as women. I mean, we've got that whole thing of the thing. Well, it does, it does.

Wow, but usually, you know, well, there's the physical things, and there is some sort of there, you know, they call it menopause or whatever. There's some things that go on with men in in terms of the physical, but it's not really the same thing. But when you're talking from an emotional, mental, psychological, spiritual level, yeah, um, they definitely are go through their own kind of they go into their own second book of life. But what I've found too is often how do I put this without being I'm not fully getting yourself into trouble? Yeah, getting myself into trouble. Men tend to go the the classic midlife crisis, somewhere between 45 and 55. But that's a very short-lived thing, and that's more of a fit, that's really the physical change. I would say that is kind of the men's menopause. Um, but when we're talking about the actual shift and entering into that second book, I believe from what I've seen and what I've been told and shown that men actually go through that later. Okay, they tend to go through it later. Um, as I said, women tend to go through that. I think women tend to go through that somewhere between 50 and I would say 50 and 65 is is that real big turnover for women. Whereas I see men tend to go into that more like 60 to 70 or 60 to 75, which I find very interesting. And especially now, because men are doing crazy things. I'm running into these men who are literally over 60 and have uh school age children, which just blows me away. I'm just like, really? Because they're doing crazy things like marrying these women who are 20, 30 years younger than them, and having a second, either a some for some men, it can be their first family, they just never did it when they were young. Uh, but mostly it's a second or a third family, which is kind of crazy. Um, but it goes on, and so part of that is, and also men tend to have if men don't get married like really young, like in their 20s, they usually tend to get married older than women for obvious reasons, because women get into this thing, you know, in their 30s that I've got to get married. Well, I want to have children, I gotta get married. So I think this is a big part of it because I don't think men go through that until they're in their 40s at least. Okay. And for some men, even into their early 50s, um, they don't feel that pressure. They they all of a sudden wake up and go, Oh god, you know, if I actually want to have kids, I better get off my butt and and do something about it, right? Uh, where with women it happens much younger. So this is why I think that whole stage of entering into that second book of life happens probably about 10 years older for men. Now, these are generalizations. There's always I hate talking in general these because there's always exceptions on both sides.

Yeah.

Okay. But as in general, that's usually what happens.

Without going off on too much of a tangent, because we've got a whole bunch of stuff to talk about with women.

Okay.

But um if we kind of look at this from the perspective of a child as a soul choosing its experience, yeah, then that older parent is part of that, isn't it? Oh, absolutely.

Absolutely, yeah, yeah, absolutely. You know, there is this is this is what when you really get the whole idea of thinking things through in a spiritual bent, is you have to realize that there are no accidents, there are no coincidences, everything is synchronicity, and not everything that we go through is planned because we don't necessarily plan specific incidents. We we plan goals, we plan people that are going to institute lessons for us. And yes, we plan who our parents are gonna be. So if you have parents that are like the age of your grandparents, you planned it that way. Yeah, okay. So what's a reason that you're you're doing this, and vice versa. If you don't end up having parents, uh you don't end up having children until you're much. And I know some women, you know, there's there's some women who've had child children very late in life, like well into their 40s, yeah. And sometimes there's even a few women that I know of that had their first child when they were. I know a gal who's was like 52. So it's like, yeah, so that's pretty, because that's really on the edge, because the average age of menopause is is 52. Yeah, so yeah, you you uh, you know, and that, but that all depends on when you started having your uh mencies. Okay, but there's there's something happening now that I love how we go off these edges because when we hit on certain things, my guides jump in and we're gonna go, we're gonna talk about it. I love that. Um god, I had salt on. I was having a little snack before, and obviously I have salt on my fingers. Salt in my life. Um, so this is real and raw, folks.

That's the that's the good thing about it's yeah, yeah.

This is just down and dirty. Okay, oh, okay. This is the big thing they wanted to talk about. This is a huge thing, and people are kind of fluffing this under the mat, and this is a big thing, and it's gonna have major, major consequences. In case you haven't noticed, the average age of girls. Uh, well, I I know this is in North America, okay. I don't know, but I uh no, they're saying it's in the developed world. Okay, so we think it's in the developed world, okay. The average age used to be somewhere, and it used to, it's been coming down steadily. Okay, we'll get into the reasons why in a minute, okay. Back in the day, like in the early 1900s and stuff like that,

Early Puberty And Fertility Fallout

girls uh young women often didn't start their mencies until their period until they were 17, 18 years old. Okay, in my generation, the average was probably somewhere around uh 13 or 14. Okay. Yeah. And I'm I'm not a boomer, I'm not an axe, I'm a Joneser that we can talk about that if you want. I'm a generation Jones, which I just found out, by the way. Which is interesting. I always find these all these things out. Um, some people don't even know what that is. Anyway, I digress, okay. The issue is now these present generations, the the the girls who are now becoming uh becoming women at 10 years old. And that is I'm not gonna go into a big reason why, but the biggest reason why is chemicals and all this stuff in our food and all the estrogen-like chemicals that they're putting in everything like shampoo, lotion, everything uh in the food. So this is why, and this is a disaster, okay? Because you have to remember a 10-year-old girl is in what grade five, four or five, maybe. Yeah, yeah. And they're not even equipped mentally, emotionally, or physically. Because just think of dealing with a period, these girls, these are little girls, they don't carry purses, they don't, you know, they have to deal with the logistics, let alone their hormone rush. And this is why all of a sudden you're hearing about girls like as young as 12 um getting pregnant because they've had this hormone rush that usually didn't happen until teenagehood. Okay, the backside of that, because we were talking about menopause, is the sooner you start your period, the sooner you go into menopause. Okay, that's the way it's always worked. So, what that means is all of a sudden the eight, like I said, the average in our age group, age groups, because you're younger than I am, but was 52. It's 52. What we're gonna see if this doesn't rapidly change, is that that could easily be knocked down by 10 years, yeah. You know, anywhere from five to ten years. I think it already is. So if you're that's huge because what you're talking about is you're talking about women as early as like in early 40s, 30s, early 40s, yeah. Early 40s that are going to become uh sterile, they're they're not going to be able to have children. And with the way that our modern world has developed, women have deferred and deferred and deferred having children. So you don't have to be a genius to figure out the math on that. What it's going to, and we've already got, you know, there's all these people screaming about the population. If you really talk to demographers, the actually we're about to have a population crash.

Okay.

So many, so especially in the in the first world, in the developed world, so many countries, their population is actually dying because their birth rate isn't even keeping their population. I can't remember what that point is called, where uh there's enough births happening to um offset the death rate, and that's not happening at all anymore. It's going in the other direction. So what's happening is our population is rapidly, you know, all these people are saying, Oh, there's too many people. No. Okay, what's gonna happen is we're gonna have this population crash, which is gonna have we could spend an entire show talking about the consequences of that. Okay, yeah, so there's a bunch of things happening in the background that people don't realize. Also, that will affect when this is where we started, that will affect when that second book of life starts for women. Yeah, okay. And interestingly enough, though, there isn't anything. Is there anything? I'm asking the question before I open my mouth. No, there isn't a similar well, no, there is. Well, this has been happening for quite a while, and the corresponding problem that's also a huge problem now, is that the uh sperm counts for men are drastically dropping. Okay, drastically dropping. So this is also another thing that's uh so not only women's fertility is going into the tank, but men's fertility is going into the tank. Like you never used to see, like it would be very rare, like, but I'm even talking young couples in their 20s and 30s. You never used to see, very rarely would you ever see a couple in their 20s or 30s having fertility problems. Now it's a common occurrence, yeah, which is a scary thing. Those are supposed to be the most, you know, the most fertile years. Anyway, it's going to have a huge impact on our society. It's gonna have a huge impact on how we live the last half of our when when the first half of our life is so impacted, it cannot help but have a major impact on how we live the second half of our life. So we'll see what happens.

Are your guides kind of are you downloading all the time? Are they kind of telling you all the time, all the time? Yeah, all the time.

Well, when I'm in session, like when I'm talking, yeah, this is basically like I'm in session with a client. Whenever I'm doing that, no, um, no, not not in my life. I wouldn't have a life of doing that.

But when we're in conversation, very large group, yeah.

When I'm in conversation with somebody and that's the intention of what we're doing, yeah. I'm always, I'm always um, I I don't even have to say anything, but now I started saying things so that people understand that that's what's happening. Okay, because it's not just me spitting out or spewing out stuff, it

How The Guides Come Through

it's a combination of when I'm in session, I'm always uh it's a common of the energies that are flowing through me. Even actually, honestly, um, even though we're not in session, a personal session for you, they just reminded me because we are connected with energy, it's not just my guides, it's your guides as well.

Okay, okay, and they're talking to you.

You see, you understand that? They all get together and they have a party and then they channel all this stuff through me. Oh, cool. That that's the way it works when I'm in a personal session with somebody. It's not just my guides, it's they're having a party with having a big they're having they're having a Barbie, they're having a Barbie and they're talking, and they're you know, everybody thought into the Audie thing. They're having a Barbie and they're having fun, and and then they uh throw stuff at me, basically.

You have had uh this gift your entire life, haven't you? Yes, and then yeah, but but you but you also um like if we look at your your first book of life 30 years working in corporate and then something changed where you decided that you were gonna do something different. Was that because you do you think in your first book, and for women in general, when we're in our first book of life, and I call it the warm-up, that kind of made me realize a couple years ago, I was like, oh, I've just been like practicing for the for the real thing.

Um well I want to stop you on that.

Not really, okay.

You should you really you shouldn't think of it that way because all because it's a it's the real deal, okay? Yeah, and that's why I get I get a little bit annoyed with people who start saying, Oh, I did all this stuff, and you know, I wasted so much time doing this, and blah blah blah blah blah, and they'll go on and on and on. And I I just go, No, yeah, nothing is a waste of time. No, I don't know. Everything that's happened, yeah, everything that's happened to you is is uh has become part of you, and that you take that on and you can do something. There, there is no such thing as wasting time.

No, it's more like practice though, you know. There are some things in you I've written sort of there are lessons that you know, or experiences that I had in my first book, and now I kind of I'm reflecting on that. And well, and it's a process there was yeah, it's a process, and there are lessons that that are gonna help me to develop those skills. skills and that knowledge and that experience exactly. Yeah.

Yeah.

But at the time they can feel you know hard or problematic or like challenging.

Oh, it it never stops, trust me. So you had your 30 years in corporate and um did you feel did you feel like you were out of alignment when you were doing oh absolutely absolutely yeah okay so I think this is a really great example of you know women might be I didn't feel that for a long time I um I really enjoyed what I was doing and uh I had a really good time and I was very well compensated for it and all that kind of good stuff. And then it became more difficult and more difficult and things changed. Um and actually probably the last 10 years were very quite challenging and

Corporate Life Ageism And Grief

especially the last five years. And part of that was the the environment that I worked in started really changing because the I was in newspaper I was I was in pre primarily newspapers I was in the daily broadsheets and um the the advertising and I was in advertising and marketing and that changed rapidly and as that revenue shrank and shrank and then because of online and and computers and all that kind of thing it got more and more and more um competitive and it it just got really nasty especially the last five years was just ugly. I should have been out of there at least five years before but you know you get you know you got a good paycheck you got seniority you know you're doing your thing uh but then I got out of it they started uh uh uh uh you know offering buyouts and stuff like that because they kept cutting staff and cutting staff and I figured we were kind of down to the end of that golden parachute age so I basically said you know give me my check and I'm out of here and I I thought I would have no problem I I was 52 funny enough I was 52 and I figured oh I've got all this experience here I've got a really good reputation I will have no problem getting another job it ha ha ha i had no idea it never even occurred to me that there would be so much ageism out there it was unbelievable okay and um that was a real shocker I had taken six months off intentionally because I'd got a golden parachute and I'd never done it so I did it and then I went back and tried to start seriously um looking for a job and I was working with some headhunters and everything and one of them was a really great gal and we we developed a really good rapport and she said I'm not really supposed to tell you this she says Laura but I got to be honest with you all her clients who of course of course were all the employers had uh had sent to her point blank this isn't legal by the way but this is what they told her they said don't even bother sending us anyone over the age of 45 oh no and I'm like so this was about uh 12 years ago now I think yeah yeah about 12 years ago uh 11 years ago 12 years ago anyway so anyway this happened and right I'm trying to deal with this thinking okay what the heck am I gonna do with myself and then I started thinking about going back into pure marketing and I sort of did a little bit of a kick of a can at that and it was the same deal basically um so I was kind of going like what's happening and then just at that time uh actually my my life partner um suddenly uh passed suddenly what totally unexpected so he got ill yeah he had a heart attack wasn't the heart attack that killed him he actually had a um a uh hemorrhagic a severe hemorrhagic stroke and he was he was uh pronounced brain dead basically so all this happened within like 12 hours so I I was out of work I had no job I just lost my partner and if anybody doesn't know if you've never experienced a major loss like that of somebody uh what usually happens for most people is everything that you haven't dealt with personally in your life comes up and hits you in the face okay anything you've swept under the rug even some things that you've thought that you've dealt with uh oh surprise you really haven't totally dealt with and uh all of a sudden so not only are you in uh severe grief especially if it's something sudden because you're totally unprepared um you're hit in the face with all this so I went into a major healing journey after that because I was just totally lost thank god for the golden handshake because I'm not sure what I would have done if I hadn't got the golden handshake um but anyway so I went on a major healing journey for about a year year and a half and I did all kinds of all kinds of crazy things uh on my uh healing journey it was very how shall I say uh alternative healing journey um I I went to John of God in Brazil he's a trance healer I don't know if you know who he is but he he was quite famous for a long time um uh then I went to I heard about ayahuasca and I was I was led to everything that I did and it was kind of like this path I went I did one thing and it led me to something else and something else so then I went to Peru and I did uh uh I did an intensive ayahuasca journey plant medicine journey and what did I do after that oh yeah I came back and I decided I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do but I knew I had spent spent so many years in advertising um helping to sell people things that they really didn't need I figured that I wanted to do something to really help people instead of just selling them stuff that they really didn't need. I didn't feel that way about it when I was doing it necessarily but after I went through a lot of things that's the way I felt about it. But anyway I came back and I decided that I I had really gotten into uh uh just before my partner died I'd actually really gotten into yoga and I loved it and actually yoga saved I keep saying this yoga saved my life in so many ways um but then I decided so I I decided that because my love for yoga that did so much for me I decided that maybe that was the way to go so I ended up going on a month long intensive to Costa Rica to do my yoga teacher training because I decided if this was going to be my new career I had to get my ass in gear and get it done right so of course that's the way you pray so anyway I came back from that and I realized that I really loved yoga and yoga was always going to be part of my life which it is uh but I was not meant to be teaching yoga which I have taken over the decades many many different kinds of healing modalities and thought at many times that I was supposed to be a practitioner and then yet to be told it was just part of my own healing journey. But again like I said nothing is ever wasted because it also allows me to help people in my work because I am familiar with many many many healing modalities as well. And I needed a lot of healing I'm just gonna put that out there. I had a very challenging childhood and I had a very challenging uh young adulthood and I've had multiple challenges throughout my life so I've been you know people there is no such thing as one healing journey because there are different things that we need to heal throughout our life so it's an on again everything's a process okay it's not one and done and the problem that I find that a lot of people uh are still looking for the magic pill and people don't like it when I tell them this there is no such thing as the magic pill okay for anything okay everything is a process and again you know if you understand the basic uh spiritual process uh this is another thing I hate about menopause I use my words everything's a process and uh if you understand spirituality everything is a healing journey okay everything is is um everything's part of evolving our souls because that's why we're here okay yeah so I just lost whatever was coming next but yeah I can talk to you I can talk to I can well we were kind of talking about your own experience and and like that healing journey that you've been on and it's very interesting that you said that because I've also done some I'm interested in the gene keys and human design and astrology there's always been this there's always been this um sense of um I want to learn it so that I can help others and then also a realization that the reason I've been led to it is to help heal myself and understand myself and accept myself more.

So I totally resonate with that.

Well some people are meant to be practitioners I just have I just have and I you know I say to people too I think at certain periods in your life you tend to do more of that but also people get hung up on um they basically get addicted to taking courses and it's like one course the next course the next and it's just like sometimes you have to kind of go yeah you've got to couple courses yeah you know yeah uh but you know it's it's it's all good. Um there's always there's always this is the uh a real spiritual tenant there's always multiple reasons for everything that happens or everything that you're drawn to there's never just one uh uh reason that you're doing something or learning something or hearing about something that's like I said in my in my spiritual journey it was just wild I just I would do one thing and then I'd I'd find out about something else and I'd get directed to that and it it was pretty wild it was it was really really interesting and um I don't know it's just I think we you know the people think some people think like the spiritual journey itself is like linear and it's kind of like a graph rising to the right it doesn't work like that it's actually a waveform and there's you know big peaks and troughs and that's you know you know even though I knew I had these gifts and qualities like I'm not only a psychic but I'm also a medium and by the way those are two different things okay which people don't understand that and uh also everyone is psychic to some degree okay uh mediumship is an entirely different gift and you have to be born with that gift. If you're not born with it you don't have it okay because there's a lot which drives me crazy because there's a lot of people out there now who are telling people that they can make them into mediums no okay okay you see if if you are born with the mediumship gift yes people can help you um develop your gift but if you're not born with that gift somebody cannot make you into a medium and I've had people argue with me and the some of the most famous mediums in this world all agree with me or I agree with them okay um that mediumship is a very like I said everybody everybody is psychic psychic is really about it's the five clairs and it's really about um reading energy okay and being able to interpret that energy whether it's past present or future okay that's what being psychic is now mediumship is a different gift and that's literally about being able to hear and communicate with people on the other side. Yeah okay uh but a medium is not like we don't go a medium doesn't go and grab people and say hey come here come talk to us okay a medium is like an antenna it's like a ray yeah it's like you're a radio station and you can hear people on the other side when they come forward but they have to come forward you can't make them come forward. That's another thing people don't understand because sometimes people will want to speak to a specific person and I say well if that person chooses to come and talk to us we'll be talking with them if they don't choose to come and talk to us uh this is why most of the my mediumship work I do in small groups yeah because not everyone necessarily has somebody uh they may want to talk to somebody but they may not have somebody who's ready to speak with them to give them a message so it's much better done in a group session but even in my psychic sessions in my spiritual counseling sessions a lot of times um people from the other side loved ones from the other side will show up you know even on a one-to-one uh session with somebody so I do several different things okay I'm going back to purpose and alignment okay I'm happy with like I am track because I can go around with a tangent don't worry about that like we're going but I've gotta pull us back in anyway that's your job because I'm really well you you've kind of said you were not on purpose when you were in your 30 year corporate career however you had that psychic ability that gift in your in your life was it was it suppressed and can you talk a little bit well I'll tell you what happened when when I was when I was in corporate uh when I was younger I just I sort of I was doing my own spirituality thing like I would I would when I was in corporate I lived two lives okay this is this is this is this is the problem okay yeah one was I one was business account executive okay and then I had my private life and people who knew me in business would probably not really recognize some of the things that I was doing in person okay and vice versa okay so um that in itself is a problem okay that I was literally splitting my even being a Gemini okay that was a very difficult show because it's very difficult to be to have to suppress uh and it went both ways okay even like I had a lot of qualities that made me extremely good in sales and advertising and all that stuff um a lot of those things I didn't allow to come into my um into my private life and vice versa because I was very much on my own spiritual journey I did uh for at different points I did do uh readings for people on the side so I I was doing all these not only personal psychic work but I was also helping others with my psychic work uh at different times so it was very it was a very disjointed thing because at the time too if if a lot of the people that I worked with in corporate if they had any idea half the stuff that I was doing in my personal time they'd be blown away and let's let's just say it wouldn't be that it wouldn't have been that great for my career. Right but then I stopped you know I stopped caring about that at a certain point you know you just go you know uh but uh yeah so that's it and then so that's what happened and then I I sort this is the part I I sort of left you hanging on and and then I after my healing major healing journey when my life exploded in the same time I decided that I really wanted to help people make their lives work. And so I went I dove in and created my um spiritual counseling and coaching practice and my mediumship work. And I I basically been doing that full time for oh since uh 2015 so 11 years yeah yeah so I started that kind of uh mid 2015 because my life blew up in 2014 okay so 2014 was kind of a write-off and so was basically the first few months of of 2015 I think it was about May May or June so it was about this time um in 2015 when I decided to go all in on my um and create I created my own practice and my own business so that's how that happened thank you well I think it's really actually really really great to hear your story because it did happen in your midlife you mentioned that you were about 52 and um I wonder whether you in reflecting on this can now see that that was the first book uh closing and the second book opening oh absolutely and and not only that but the the energy of it because if you so many things happened all at the same time okay so I was 52 yeah that was my menopause point when I I went into to the real menopause which means your you know your Mency's stops yeah not only that 52 is a seven and the the energy of seven is spiritual mastery and what spiritual mastery really means is that deep connection to your authentic self. So see all this is happening all this this year okay and um then when I started my uh practice in 2015 I was 53 and 53 is an eight and the energy of eight is not only everybody thinks of eight is only abundance but yes it is abundance but it's also and when I say abundance I mean abundance in all things not just money uh but eight really means it's that divine infinity symbol which means uh stands for your connection above and your connection below so as above as below okay so you know and honestly at the time I don't see I'm not sure how clearly I saw that but I definitely in hindsight you know hindsight's always 2020 right I'm not sure if I ever looked at the energies until maybe this moment but I I in terms of the numerology and the energies no I think I'm probably just doing that right now see it's there's revelations everywhere well but you talked about um that we come in to this life with a purpose um can you and and like we get off purpose don't we and that's because of conditioning is it oh yes oh my goodness yes we come in with our we know when we come in uh it but it's see the conditioning and the brainwashing starts literally uh when you're born yeah right from the time you're born and that that sort of brainwashing and that conditioning that's uh family that's culture that's religion that's school that's advertising that's uh um so many different things and um it and a huge part of it is also gender

Women Conditioned To Serve Everyone

um gender oriented because especially it's women like we're talking mainly about women and the biggest the biggest thing that happens to women is that they're taught literally almost from the time that they're born that they've been put on earth to serve everyone else they're to be of service to everyone else you know husbands children teachers younger siblings uh the the community you know everybody and everything matters and they don't the only the reason they matter is because they're in service to everything else and and so many women don't understand how deeply deeply that is even in our Western world let alone in some other countries which is even more to that That way, okay. Uh in terms of whatever culture you you're brought into, but don't kid yourself, even in you know Western culture, we are absolutely brainwashed to put ourselves as women to put ourselves last and to put everybody else first, and that's probably the biggest um brainwashing that women go through, and that's very, very difficult to break out of because it's it's also the basis of why so many women have um self-worth issues and these feelings of not enough because we're basically taught that that our worth is totally dependent on what we do for others, we have no intrinsic worth in of in in of ourselves, you know, like what kind of you know, and that is yeah, and that is very, very different from the way that men are socialized, okay? Like men, I uh men have their own things, but but it's a very different thing because men are socialized that how do I put this? I want to make sure I get this right. That they their value comes from what they build, okay? They're valuable because what they build. Well, that's great because they can go out and build something. This is why men who aren't successful feel have feelings of uh lack of confidence and lack of self-worth. But it's not the same as women because they're taught from get-go, no matter what you do, no matter how much you do, no matter how much you exhaust yourself, you're still worth nothing. Because you're only worth something. You see where you see where the catch 22 comes in, and this is a huge problem. And this is this is I'm gonna tell you, this is the major lesson in the second book of life, is because most women have not confronted this because usually they haven't had time because they've been so busy. No, I'm serious, because they've been so busy, and nowadays, you know, it used to be if you were a great mom, a great wife, and you kept a great house, you were a wonderful woman. Yeah, okay. So you had three things now. You got to be a great wife, a great mother, have a good make good money, have a fabulous job, and be, you know, the sexy uh partner for your your husband, right? And and nothing's changed for men. They basically, you know, I I laugh at the the you know the whole women's lib thing. Everybody thinks this was so empowering for women. It's bogus.

We saw the foot.

Exactly. Well, we didn't well that's a that that's a whole nother that's a whole nother episode. Because it was it was not, you know, yes, quote unquote, we were dragged into this idea of uh the women's live liberation movement, uh, but it was also an undercurrent of we were being again um do more do more by men. Yeah. You know, people think it's all women. I'm not saying that it didn't establish in the beginning, it had some very empowering things for women, yeah, but as it went on, it became very corrupted, and it actually was devastatingly um, it was devastating to women and their own empowerment in the world because they were they were put too many things on them that are impossible. And and by the way, there's no such thing as having it all, it doesn't exist, it's a myth. Okay, it's a it's it's another part of the hit and the hypnotic session. Yeah, that thing there's it's impossible because it's that be everything to everyone, and that's impossible. You cannot in any stretch of the imagination, you cannot something always fall through the cracks. Okay, you cannot have this huge, high-powered, high-paying uh career, have wonderful, incredible children raised properly, have this beautiful, well-kept house, and this totally happy, oversed husband, and you know, they it's impossible. No one person can have all and play all those roles. And you want to know why so many women are burned out these days? That's why. Yeah, and see, women keep telling themselves and they keep telling other women that they can have it all. This is this is uh such poison, this is poison to to women, it really is.

Well, I think that we because they're because of all of those sort of societal um conditions and expectations, we I've witnessed this in myself that I'm trying to achieve things, and then when I kind of go, hang on a minute, I'm almost creating that pressure for myself. No one exactly no one in my life has verbalized any of these things are necessary. But do you know what I mean? Like making it.

I agree and disagree.

I mean, subliminally, but then I've taken that on.

I've taken it on.

Yeah, I've taken that on, and I am living in those expectations. I can feel I can feel the difference between when I want to do something as opposed to when I feel I should be doing something to to to like prove my worth, as it were.

Oh, I forgot some stuff in that in that basket. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean, but in that basket of having it all, you also have to have the perfect body, be totally fit and gorgeous, and not age, uh, and not age, but men, oh my god, they look so distinguished. Yes, they got little wrinkles by their eyes, they have a little gray in their hair. Yeah, look at that, just makes them more attractive.

Well, Laura, that's part of my um, you know, rebellion is like, well, my hair went gray when I was in my 30s. I'm going gray, I'm not dyeing it.

Oh wow.

To keep it to keep anyone else happy, right?

Um, no, but it looks cute on you. So, you know, it's like but that's you know, that's the thing, you know. And then I get I get you know, then I get uh accused of dyeing my hair, which I don't do. I do lighten my hair, yeah. Because uh because um my hair was always golden blonde. As I got older, it started getting darker, it started going more of an ashy blonde, which is a very cool color, and that doesn't go with my skin because I I need that golden to be otherwise I look washed out and sick because I'm so fair, right? You know what I'm talking about because you're fair, right? But the thing is I there's all these, there's all these incredible double standards, you know. Yeah, and and the thing has switched so much, and this is where women also get really tied up. Uh, is I can't tell you how many women that I knew who were actually the primary breadwinner of their household. Okay, so they're making more money than their husbands are, but they're still doing 80% of the child care and the majority of the household, and I'm not talking about even necessarily cleaning, I'm talking about household management, okay, which is all the myriad of stuff that happens, okay. So uh, you know, really? So, you know, they're making, you know, a third again as much or something as their husbands. They are the primary breadwinner, they're doing everything in the home. And again, there's all these expectations and all these other things that we've already talked about. This is the craziness that's happened with women. And then women wonder why they, you know, they hit 4550 and they are just done. I can't tell you how many women I've talked to are just like burning out because they've been trying to live up to these totally unrealistic uh expectations. And a lot, like you said, a lot of them are put on by ourselves, but they're not really because we've been brainwashed to think that that's what we have to do. So we're beating ourselves to death in order to make those things happen, which is which is crazy. You know, it's just crazy. Uh and it's not the way we're supposed to live, but that's there's a lot of things that are not.

I feel like conversations like this, there are there is a shift. There are women that are becoming more aware.

It's starting to shift, yes.

And I wonder whether you can sort of talk to that when we talk about purpose and then finding our purpose, becoming aware of it. Is that would you say that's like the first step is just witnessing um like is that actually my truth, or is that something?

Well, I was just gonna say that that that's the first you hit the nail on the head. That's the first step. If you really want to connect with and and know what your purpose, your mission in life is, the first thing that you have to do is this is why I talk about a lot about connecting with your authentic self. If you don't know who you are, there's no way in hell that you

Finding Purpose Through Authentic Self

are going to be able to suss out what it is that you really came here to do. If you don't even really know who you are, there's just no way you're gonna find that. So that is the journey. And thankfully, what I see happening with not all, but uh some of the young people is that they are are they know that coming in and they're not forgetting, and they're not allowing themselves to be uh necessarily brainwashed out of it. Okay, there's other problems going on with them, but um you know, but yeah honestly, we shouldn't have to wait until we're 45, 50, 55 years old in order to go, okay, hey. Uh and I honestly think that's why a lot of young people, uh both men and women, and this is another trend. Okay, it's going it there, it this is a two, this is this is again, there's so much polarity going on right now. There's two things happening. There's this huge group of young people who are deciding that they don't want to have children, period.

Right.

Okay, they don't want to have children, period. And it's for a group of different reasons, but it's very small. Uh, like the reasons are there's two or three reasons that are are prevalent in that group. The other group, which I find really interesting, is they're going back because when I was growing up, it was part of when the age of uh like in my mother's generation, they were having children very young, they were getting married out of high school or straight out of college. They were they were having kids, everyone is having kids in their early 20s. Yeah, okay. Uh, and then that started getting older and older. And when I was in my sort of group, uh, people were really waiting until their 30s, and and some were even waiting longer than that. What I see happening again is the cycle has turned again, and that's what's happening with this other group. Yeah, there's another group, totally opposite from the first group I just talked about. They have gone back to having kids in their early 20s. Yeah, okay, and not just kids, okay. And the other thing that's happening is multiple children, okay. That's the other thing that happened when I was going through the childbearing age, was people were having maybe two. Um, a lot of people had single children, okay. Um, but now they're have they've gone back to having them in their 20s and having large families, like three, four, and sometimes even I've walked by, you know, they got five or six kids and they're like bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, right? Um, so it's an interesting dichotomy that's going on. And the reason is is because that also is going to highly affect when people reach that second book of life.

Yeah.

Because honestly, I don't think people even get close to that second book of life when they're still rearing children. And if you're having four or five, even if they're only a year apart, okay, you've still got four or five children that you've got to raise before you even get to the point where you can kind of stop and go, oh, what about me? You know, especially from the women, but from the men's point of view as well, but especially from the women's point of view. So that is going to be an interesting, and I think those two groups are going to be entirely different because the the young people who choose not to have children at all are going to have a lot of time to dedicate to themselves personal time and to their relationships. Uh, whereas these people who are having these young families and multiple, multiple children, um, that's like the old days when you basically, you know, you've got three, four kids or more, you have no time. Like you're just treading water until these kids are grown. And it takes a long time to function through, like I said, even if they're only a year apart, uh, to function through all those kids. I would never go there, but some people, you know, that's your thing.

Go for it. That's your thing, go for it. Um, I suppose, yeah, when if you you're talking about like why should women have to wait so long for to to like get to that second book, or why should they even have to experience that conditioning? There's gonna be um maybe that there's one group that kind of starts to move beyond that and the other group that stays. I don't know.

It's gonna be it's gonna be interesting. It's gonna be interesting.

Because I feel like that's happening a lot, like even with this kind of as as I was sort of mentioning this more more women becoming aware of like actually, I don't I don't fit in those roles. Like, there's there's a divide happening there already where some women like seem to not have uh an awareness of that happening, they're just like doing their thing, you know, going through the motions of life. And then there's the people like uh that are listening to this podcast that are like, hang on a minute, something's not quite right here. I'm gonna go down that rabbit hole.

So yeah, I feel like there's there's already that that sort of divide happening, and maybe well, I find it interesting though, because for a long time the vast majority of people followed the same set of rules. Okay, and what's happening now is there tends to be more diversity and in people's life choices, yeah. But I I see more of a division, like kind of the extremes. Uh, I'm not seeing a lot of people kind of in the middle, and I'd like to see more of that because that's when free choice really comes. Okay. Um, everybody doing the same thing is basically no choice, okay. Everybody doing two things, like vastly divergent. There's really no, okay, so now you got a choice between this side and this side, okay. Okay, so that's not really a choice. I I I I'm really hoping that we can kind of come to the middle somewhere so that there are multiple choices and all um all choices are honored, like you know, people aren't because I even remember I made a conscious choice. I knew from right, and and this is probably part of my uh plan when I came in. Um, I knew when I was in my early 20s that I had, and I actually, you know, okay, I'll get to that in a minute. I made a choice, I knew that I was not gonna have children.

Uh-huh.

And I don't know why. I uh the now I look at it, it was probably my uh my plan before I came in. I I've had lots of children in past lives, so I probably just didn't need to go through that experience again. But I can tell you, in my in my age group, that was like, oh the first question, you know, when I said, Oh, you know, I I don't really want to have children, and then everybody looked at uh looked at me and said, Oh, do you like hate children? And I'm like, No, I don't hate children, I just don't particularly. In fact, I'm the exact opposite. I've always loved children, and children have always been in my life, but I never had any impetus whatsoever. Like I remember talking to girlfriends in my 20s and gals that I worked with, and they would go on and on about uh, you know, wanting to have children, and one gal said to me, Oh, my womb just aches to have a child, and I'm looking at her and just going, like, where is that coming from? Because I just can't even relate to that feeling. But um, yeah, so it wasn't, but now you again, I told we talked about that group of young people. It's just going, Hey, you know, we don't want to, and it's it's not foreign to them at all. But I tell you, when I was growing up, I was in my 20s and 30s, that was a pretty foreign thing to say, and people looked at you as if you were kind of weird, if you actually voiced the fact that you weren't really interested in having children.

I didn't want to have children, and actually, I feel like part of my journey was up like I had my first son when I was 40, because I was like pretty adamant in my late 30s that I was not interested in having kids. But I feel like that, yeah, has well, obviously, my children chose older parents for for a reason. Um, but yeah, I feel like that's actually they've been quite they've taught me so much, and I think that that was part of my journey, you know, to get here where I am today, because they've sort of opened up my awareness to sort of seeing things through their eyes and through their perspective.

Yeah.

So yeah.

But I even discovered later in life, which I didn't know when I was in my 20s. I think I discovered this sometime in my late 30s, uh, or maybe even early 40s, that I had my chart done. And actually, my house of children is empty. So I was so this is how I know this was part of my plan because even my astrology says that I didn't want to have kids this time around. So I I thought that was pretty funny when I found that out. But you know, I don't know, there's there's a lot of things, everybody's kind of got a different journey, and I think everybody's gotta honor other people's journeys.

Tell me.

Yeah, but I also think there are larger cycles in play, and different people are part of different cycles, so uh it's it's pretty complicated stuff, and when you're looking for your mission, there's really only um, I always say there's only really four or five sort of um mission or purpose definitions, like there's healer, there's teacher, there's disruptor. Uh I can't even remember them all now. Builder. Um, so you come in with one of those purposes or missions, if you want to call it that. Um now how

Mission Types And Real-World Work

you manifest that is totally up to you once you get here. Okay. So that it's not like you come in and have this intricate plan that you're going to do this particular mission in this particular way. That's not the way it works. For example, I I come in under the well, I'm I'm more of a healer, but well, healer, let me put it this way healers have green, which is the color of healing, and and they also have uh a bit of yellow, which is a teacher. Okay. Now teachers are basically mostly yellow, and they have a little bit of green, okay. So I I know, but I do instead, I'm not a healer in the sense that I'm not a hands-on healer, but I heal people through energy and through um discovery of making them conscious of what's really going on in their life and blocks and past life stuff and all those things. So Uh but that's the way I chose to be a healer. I also know people this I love giving this example because people can really relate to him. I know people who are realtors and they're healers. Okay. Don't get me wrong. Not every realtor is a healer.

Okay.

Uh very some people are there for very different reasons. But I actually know, and their their form of healing through their real estate is finding the exact right home for that family or that individual, uh, the kind of energy, whether they realize they're doing it or not. Some people are doing this consciously and some people are doing it unconsciously. It's always better to do it consciously. Um that uh that's going to be uh the energy to have those people flourish. Okay. Yeah. And those are the people who are really into finding out what their clients really want, and they're not just solely into uh I'm out here to make a buck. Okay. Um, so that you know, I always use that example because people go, What?

Because you know, there's yeah, you gotta think outside the box and not so you gotta think outside the box.

So you don't necessarily this is why I'm telling people because you don't necessarily have to be doing something that is considered uh solely spiritual in order to be in your mission, because a lot of people think that, okay. Well, I'm doing this or I'm doing that, it's not very spiritual. How could I possibly be? Yeah, that could totally be your mission, you know, and people discount that and they they do themselves a disservice.

Can you see my is that aura, the colors that you see? Can you see mine?

Uh you you're you're yellow, you're more of a teacher, yeah. But again, you have you also have some green, which you're your healer, but you also teach uh you all heal through your teaching.

Yeah.

Now, and and and again, when we say teacher, that is a one. No, not with my white bowl. It could, it could be, it could be, but it's not for you. Um, but that's what I'm saying. There's so many different like I said, there's only four or five basic um missions, but how we uh, you know, and some people um are healers and they're musicians, yeah. And I don't necessarily mean I don't mean singing bowls, okay, I mean real musicians, okay. But they are healing and they are connecting with people and helping people connect to themselves through their music. Yeah, okay. Yeah, so there's lots of different things you can be doing. It doesn't have to look you don't have to be a Reiki thing or an energy healer or a psychic or a medium or you know, any of the other um uh or or a shaman or you know, um, like all those things are cool too, but you don't necessarily have to be that in order to be on your path and and connected to your own energy.

Yeah. We've kind of reached the end of our hour.

Oh no. I know.

I reckon I need to start making these episodes longer.

Or we'll have to do we'll have to do a Laura 2.0 2.0.

I wonder if you could close um just by sharing how like maybe one or two steps that um women can follow to start to move towards their authentic self. Obviously, reaching out to people like you.

Yes, that helps.

That helps.

Um well, since we're talking about real estate, I I always say uh meditation, meditation, meditation, real estate, location, location, location, yeah, meditation, meditation, meditation. The reason I say that is because um meditation hits all four pillars at the same time. Okay. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And if you want to start connecting

Meditation As The Starting Point

deeply with yourself, you have to quiet yourself enough so that you're able to go within. Okay. A lot of people think you reach up to spirit. That is a fallacy. Okay. You have to go in and then up.

Okay.

So if you're not deeply connected to yourself, your authentic self, you are not going to be able to connect uh as deeply with spirit. Um, but that's the place to start, is really if you want to start looking at your authentic self, okay, um, or come see somebody wonderful like me.

Exactly.

Because it's really um just starting because I can see a lot of things that aren't necessary. I can also see trends in your past lives, uh-huh. And I think I can look at things in the Akashic records and see what you came in in this particular lifetime to do. Um, I can also look at um uh ancestral karma, which is another thing that especially this time, uh, a lot of people are have come in to break uh that's their mission. They've come in to break ancestral karma. And uh oddly enough, the way that we do that is actually by healing ourselves. The way we break the chain is by healing ourselves, and not only do we heal ourselves, but we heal seven generations back and seven generations forward.

There's definitely a 2.0 needed.

Well, there's I I just want to say there's three things that I basically, three major things that I do. One is my individual spiritual counseling, yeah. Um, which is looking at all the things we just talked about. It can be personal relationship, your business, all those things. The second is a more in-depth dive. It's my um I I I lovingly call it create the life that you really want. Yeah, that's my intuitive coaching mentoring program. And the third thing, which doesn't apply to my friends in in the Oz, because I that's the one thing that I do in person, which is my medium chip group sessions. Yeah, and I just do that locally around the uh Greater Vancouver area because I've been told over and over again that I need to be doing uh those group sessions in person. So that's what I do.

Okay, cool. We're gonna share all of your details in the guest directory. There's a guest directory for the podcast, so you'll have your own page there um with your profile, all your all of your links um that your listeners can access. Um, I've loved hearing all of your wisdom. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Oh, I've really enjoyed it.

It's really hey there, Rebel. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Midlife Rebel Podcast. If you'd like to support the show, you can buy me a coffee by going to Buy Mea Coffee forward slash Midlife Rebel Podcast. Thanks for listening.